Is Premarital Counseling necessary?

Marriage is one of the biggest commitments you will ever make in your life, and yet, the majority of engaged couples do not see the need to take premarital counseling. Most couples who do participate are affiliated with a religious group and in order to have the minister officiate the ceremony, it’s a requirement. Here’s the truth, premarital counseling is not just for church folks, it’s beneficial for every single couple who is about to embark on the journey of marriage.

There are important and difficult subjects that should be discussed prior to getting married. However, a fear of rocking the boat often becomes the reason for holding off such discussions on critical topics. Wouldn’t you  rather be mentally prepared for future situations, and be aware of any misalignments before walking down the aisle? Here’s a fact – No marriage will go its entire duration without a disagreement, or without difficult topics ever coming up over the years. Premarital counseling prepares you for those things that will come up.

The leading cause of divorce is lack of open communication between couples. As we know, good communication is the key to any strong and lasting relationship. Working with many couples over the years, I have found that couples tend to bundle up their emotions and avoid addressing problematic topics altogether, perhaps hoping that the unresolved issues will just disappear on their own. What they don’t realize is that every minute of holding back fears and concerns causes resentment and can seed unspoken anger. This quiet resentment and anger over time turns into hate, and if not addressed, that hate will end up being an ugly explosion of words, which can cause significant heartbreak. The truth is unspoken resentment is a recipe for disaster. No one can hold back and keep the feelings of hurt and disappointment buried deep forever, they are bound to find a way out.

The premarital counseling course we provide at Experience Love Events is targeted at addressing such difficult issues and conflict sup front, but with direction and under professional guidance. Our program will allow you to put all your cards on the table – face up, well before walking down the aisle. Will it be a little uncomfortable? Yes, it can cause some temporary discomfort. But is this temporary discomfort worth it? A100%, and absolutely YES.

At such occasions of conflicts, I have found the 24-hour rule to be of great use. This has worked for me and my household all these years. Let me illustrate what it means: If my husband said or did something that bothered me, I give myself 2 options- I either speak about it within the next 24 hours of the incident, or I choose to throw it into the sea of forgetfulness and leave it alone forever. In more than 12 years of my marriage, I have realized that my spouse doesn’t intentionally do things to hurt me, or annoy me, and this understanding keeps me from letting small issues get escalated. For example, my husband often leaves dirty clothes on the ground, forgets to put down the toilet seat, orleavesa mess after cooking!  Now because, I know he gets distracted and forgets to go back and complete what he started, and that he isn’t trying to aggravate me on purpose, I tend to feel better and can continue communicating with him with no fuss, annoyance or nagging. 

The important and difficult subjects that we cover in a premarital session include discussions on finances, children, parenting, in-laws, friends, family, sex, faith, and couple dynamics like conflict resolution, and communication, etc. The couple gets an opportunity to speak with someone who is unbiased, and honest and can offer good advice based not only on education and training, but also from personal experience of more than decade long marriage.

Consider premarital counseling as a small investment in your relationship. Return on this investment can be as high as saving your marriage. It gives you the tools you need to effectively communicate and resolve problems that will inevitably come up in a relationship. Our premarital counseling course is only $80 for the session. Just $80 to ensure that your marriage starts off on the right foot– sounds like a win-win to me. 

For more information on our premarital counseling course, please